The Son of Hermes
by evilpercy
Summary: Luke returns to camp after being reseructed.He wants to become the no.1 womanizer of the camp.but will percy let Luke steal whats dear to him?TLH never happened.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sure as heck I'm not Riordan.**

**The story's a lot better than what I wrote in the summary I promise. When Luke returns to the camp he creates a huge pandemonium and then boys start fighting over girls and girls start fighting over boys. Your reviews would be pretty useful.**

Magma rocks glinted in the dark and the ghosts of Erebus sauntered about doing their clandestine duties. Just another normal day in the Fields of Asphodel. Luke trudged along the rough terrain with a skeleton soldier close behind him. He knew he couldn't complain. This was to be considered a reward actually. He could've ended up in the Fields of Punishment had he not offered to kill himself for the sake of Olympus. Hermes must have put in a word for him also to ease his suffering in Erebus. He didn't have many daily activities here. Just the menial labor. Sadly they didn't hand out wages, it was kinda like prison. But today was different. He had been ordered to go to the Death Magistrate by none but Lord Hades himself. Luke was taken aback by the order. Surely he hadn't caused any trouble down here unlike many other souls. Besides today was a special day. It was the day when he could go to Elysium. Kind of like a tourist though, he had a permit for only one day. He was invited to a wedding. Yes, the wedding of Beckendorf and Silena. Although Silena could not meet his eyes when they had invited him, Beckendorf said it was imperative to let go of the past and forgive.

_Yeah right, _thought Luke. _Something I'll never understand._

His hopes had been destroyed though and all because of the lousy Lord of Death.

_What's that bastard's problem anyway. Why can't he just get laid and be happy instead of bothering other people. I don't get laid yet I don't trouble people either. Life sucks! Oh wait, death sucks too._

But Luke restrained himself. Whenever he ruminated too much about his life and past grudges, he got a migraine. The skeleton soldier led him into a dark, ghastly building.

"The house of the Death Magistrate", the soldier said with a skeletal grin across his face. It was the first time he had spoken. "Fare thee well. Ha ha."

Luke ignored him and stepped inside. _This better be freakin good news._

The house had no door just like any other Erebian house. He wasn't surprised to see that the hall was filled with chairs and a desk at the front. He was a magistrate after all. At least a dozen people sat in the chairs. But he was surprised to see that Beckendorf and Silena were among the people. Silena gave Luke a faint smile but then turned away feeling a bit sad. Beckendorf put an arm around her and whispered something in her ear.

_What's going on, _Luke thought getting frustrated.

Then a dark skinned, swarthy man approached him. He sure was the Death Magistrate. No other magistrate would wear a sign saying 'You have the right to remain dead'.

"Lucas Castellan."

Luke flinched at the mention of his full name.

"By order of the Lord himself", the man started eyeing him tentatively. "You are now released from Erebus."

"Released?", Luke asked confused.

"You may enter the world above", the man said mysteriously.

Luke gasped and stared at him disbelievingly as he caught his meaning. "I can go back to Earth?"

The magistrate nodded emotionlessly.

"But, but I…", he started.

"Lord Hades has given his orders. Either this or eternal punishment in the Fields."

"But why would Lord Hades wanna release me", asked Luke. "I mean has anyone ever been released before?"

The magistrate scowled. "If I knew that I wouldn't still be a crappy Death Magistrate now would I? Some idiot managed to convince that Lord Hades to give that officious fool Charon a pay raise. No one ever does that for me. Now do you want this or no boy?"

Luke didn't need to think. "Hell yeah! Uh, I mean sure I do."

"Ok then all you have to do is swear in front of this company that you promise to rehabilitate yourself for the good of the Western World blah blah blah," Luke didn't need to hear the rest.

"Fine I swear", said Luke.

Luke looked around the contingent of people. Silena looked rattled. She clearly thought this wasn't a good thing. Beckendorf looked doubtful too but he a gave a polite nod to Luke.

_They're hiding something. Pity I'll be missing they're wedding though. Hmmm… On second thoughts, who cares?_

Luke couldn't control his excitement. He had to fix so many things on Earth. He would get what he wanted this time. He was sure of it. He was gonna get a real life.

"Go to Charon and he'll take you back to Earth", the magistrate said listlessly.

When he reached the Styx, Charon glanced at his release papers.

"Going back to Earth huh", Charon said as if he was talking to no one in particular. "I take very few souls on the return journey. Lord Hades must love you."

Luke was taken aback again. _Why would Hades wanna release me? Probably he turned gay. _

Luke was certainly known for looks. Somehow that made him think of Annabeth. He knew she used to dig in to his looks before. Luke smiled ominously. _And they say it's hard to manipulate a daughter of Athena._

A harsh light interrupted Luke's thoughts. They were reaching the surface.

"How do living people survive with all that light?", grumbled Charon.

_So this is it, _Luke thought. _Life over again._

No siding with Kronos this time. He was done with that. He had other plans in mind.

_A normal life definitely. Being interactive and sociable with others. But not a magnanimous one._

**If you want me to update then review please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I'm still not Riordan.**

Travis' POV

"They always seem to look dazzling in the spring", I said nonchalantly as Connor and I stared at the Aphrodite girls picking roses in the fields.

We were sitting on a bench near the great hall at seven in the morning. I yawned tiredly.

"I told you it would be good to wake up early today for a change", said Connor grinning. "The early boy gets the girl. The good thing is now I'll have a clear idea of which girl I should score at dinnertime. Not like everyday when I have an array of choices but can't pick which one."

I yawned again at Connor's statistics. Either the guy needed to get a hobby or he was becoming a plain geek.

"That girl is spanking hot", Connor started. "Yep that one's gotta get laid. She's asking for it. Oh my god the other one's unbelievable. Are those for… I mean is she for real?"

I yawned again and drifted off this time hoping Connor wouldn't notice. I wasn't really interested in the Aphrodite girls. I know surprise huh? But someone else was on my mind. I hope I spot her today.

"What the hell are you two doing here!" a gruff girl's voice shouted from behind.

Connor and I almost jumped off the bench. Clarisse glared at us with venom. "You idiots are supposed to be on guard duty. Did you forget the freakin schedule? Get your behinds to the gate!"

"What schedule?" asked Connor innocently.

"You're asking for it", muttered Clarisse brandishing her spear.

"We're going", said Connor quickly. We both hurried to the gate without looking behind again.

I glared at Connor. "I told you we should've slept in. So much for your Aphrodite girls."

Connor groaned. "Maybe I should've memorized that lousy schedule after all. So that we could at least sleep in on the days we have duty! Damn that Clarisse and her temper. She needs to get laid often."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting…"

"Eww no way", said Connor. "I'm not gonna help her with that."

As we reached the gate Katie was passing us by. Shit! She always has this magical effect on me. Her brown hair, luscious brown eyes and succulent looking lips. I couldn't help myself.

"Hey Travis, why are you drooling?" Connor said. Then he looked at Katie. "Ha! You like Katie. I can't believe this. You with a Demeter girl. Oh my gods this is rich. Someone save me."

"I don't like Katie!" I protested turning red. There was no way I was gonna let Connor know about this. I groaned internally. Now I was gonna have to play a prank on the Demeter cabin just to make Connor believe I didn't like her. But then she would stop talking to me for a few days. Well its not like we had conversations often. Besides those conversations were pretty short coz she would usually tell me to buzz off.

Connor started laughing loudly. Katie heard him and looked in our direction. I managed a small wave. She rolled her eyes and walked off. Dammit! Why does she have to look so hot when she does that? Is it just to torture me?

I sighed and unsheathed my sword. Had to start patrolling.

"Such a lousy job", I told Connor.

"Yep I wanted to know if that blonde girl was for real or not", He replied.

I stared in the distance then I spotted someone coming. He was tall and lean and had jet black hair.

"Someone's coming", I told Connor.

The boy walked up to us. I noticed he had ghostly pale skin. Kinda freaky. Its like he doesn't go out in the sun often. I looked closely at his face. I think I've seen him before somewhere. But I decided to leave it. I've pranked many people. After seeing too many faces someone's bound to get confused.

"Hi, I'm a half blood", he said in a deep voice.

"Oh of course you are", I said. "Where's your satyr boy? You ain't getting in this camp for free."

"I don't know, I must've beaten my satyr up on the way and fed him to the monsters", he said with searing sarcasm. "What do you care anyway?"

Yep he passed the Stoll's attitude test which made eligible to enter the camp.

"Welcome brother", Connor said grinning. "Make yourself at home in the Hermes cabin."

"Thanks", he said and entered briskly.

"This is so awesome!" Connor said. "Clarisse would totally kill us if she saw us do that."

"We're just doing our duty", I said smirking. That is, annoying her.

Nico's POV

I jolted out of my bed as I felt a strange feeling in my heart. It didn't feel as if it was burning or freezing. It felt somewhere in the middle. Even though it never happened before I knew what it was. Dad rarely brings someone alive again. I wondered who it was and why he did it. I scratched my head and searched for my watch. It was 7:30 am. I groaned internally. Why couldn't be left to sleep in for once on a Saturday? I crawled out of bed and brushed my teeth. I really didn't see the point of the whole thing. Staying in camp was just like staying out on my own. I was as lonely as before. No one ever talked to normally except Percy and Annabeth. Even they were too busy with each other to care too much. Katie Gardner seemed friendly enough and she didn't seem to bother about me being the son of death. But ever since I saw Travis flirting with her I decided to leave her. The last thing I needed was to give the guy the wrong message and start a fight. I'd scare the whole camp away if I fought and it wasn't because I was fighter but because of my calcium-bodied friends. I sighed. I wish some things would change.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I'm still not Riordan.**

Luke's POV

I knew they wouldn't recognize me if I dyed my hair. It's been many years since they've seen me. I've managed to play safe quite well if fooled the Stoll brothers. I looked around the camp as I headed to the Hermes' cabin. The girls looked hotter than in my times. It was exciting as well as strange to see them after all the lack of sensual pleasure in Erebus. Focus, I told myself. First thing's first. I have to find a spot in the cabin. Suddenly I heard the galloping of hooves heading in my direction. Please don't be Chiron, I thought. Unfortunately the gods seem to curse me again. Chiron looked at me strangely for a moment. "Are you a new camper?", he said with a confused look on his face.

"Yes", I replied coolly. "I just came here right now."

"Where is the satyr who accompanied you?" he asked still confused.

"He had to go to the forest", I said. "He sent me to the Hermes' cabin."

Chiron stroked his beard and looked in the distance thoughtfully. "I don't recall any satyr contacting me."

"He was a bit strange and clumsy", I said pretending to be scared. "He almost let some monster thingies eat me."

"I understand", said Chiron placing a hand on my shoulder. "You must have had a rough morning. You can relax in the Hermes' cabin. We'll talk later I promise."

With that he galloped off to the Great Hall. I sighed in relief. That's one weight pulled off my shoulders. Another good thing was that even Chiron couldn't recognize me. I stepped into the Hermes' cabin with a grin on my face. Some kids turned to look at me while others continued their work. No recognition in anyone's face though. This was good. A few girls nudged each other and looked at me. "I hope he's not a son of Hermes", I heard one of them say.

"Is he a ghost?", a young boy whispered to another.

I ignored them and found a good spot near a mirror. I set down my backpack. I took out my sleeping bag and unzipped it and kept it in place. _Home sweet home._

"Hey!" a gruff boy's voice said behind me. I turned to look at a boy a few inches shorter than me. He had red hair and blue eyes and a perpetually twisted nose. He also had three strips on his t-shirt showing that he had been unclaimed for three years.

"That's my spot!" he declared glaring at me with venom. It obviously didn't take a genius to guess he belonged in the Ares' cabin.

"Get away from there or taste my knuckles newbie", he said devilishly.

_Sure, I'm the newbie, _I mused. _If he only knew._

A few kids seemed to take interest in our altercation while many others ignored us. This wasn't something new with this guy it looked like. I cracked my knuckles. After all that restraint in Erebus a fight wouldn't hurt.

"Get away from me", I said fiercely. "You don't wanna deal with me."

"In your dreams I will Barbie", he said and lunged at me.

I kicked him in the shin and he doubled over in pain and fell forward. As he fell I rammed my fist in his chest. He groaned and fell to the floor. He clutched his chest and swore. A few kids stared at me in shock. Some even cheered.

"Take him to the Apollo cabin", one of the older girls told a few kids pointing at the red haired boy on the floor.

"Hello there babe", I said.

"Buzz off creep", she said.

Where did that come from? I looked in the mirror after the guy had been taken away and gasped. The young boy in the room was right. I did look like a ghost. All those years in Erebus must have killed all the tan on my skin. I had to go to the beach. As I got out of the cabin I could see that a few kids were looking at me fearfully. Some girls winked at me flirtatiously. I could get used to this. The walk to the beach was uneventful. I trudged along the sand and faced the sun. _Make me invincible._

Probably this was something a child of Apollo would do. Yet Apollo and Hermes were so alike. I stared in the distance and planned what I was gonna do here. The truth was that I already finished what I had to do in my life. Destroying the titans had been done by me. I had finished my job and died for it too. But here I am again. But this time I create chaos since I have no duties anymore. _My existence is illeagal, _I mused. I can do whatever I want and not face any consequences. I almost chuckled to myself until I heard something behind me. It sounded like a faint rustling noise. Before I could turn someone caught me from the back and hugged me.

"What the-" I started.

"I'm so sorry", a familiar girl's voice said. "I thought you were…"

I turned around to face the girl. She had a pretty face with startling grey eyes and wavy blonde hair. Unfortunately there was a glint of recognition in her grey eyes too.

"Oh my gods", she said covering her eyes and opening them again as if she couldn't believe what she saw. "No it can't be."

I tensed, uncertain of what I should do. "I'm sorry, I don't…"

But she ran off as fast as she could. I gritted my teeth in frustration. Of course Annabeth would recognize me. She was the only in the camp who knew me that well. I can't believe I overlooked her. _She was the only one who cared for you. _I brushed off my inner voice. Of course she didn't care for me. It obviously didn't stop her from listening to that Jackson boy and not helping me when I was…

I felt my migraine starting to act up. I shut my thoughts and sat down on the cool sand. I couldn't do anything now. If she told the whole camp then I'd have to come up with something new. Besides if the camp knew about this then all the gods would know about it too. I don't know how the gods would react to this. They don't take any of Hades' decisions in good spirit. I frowned and headed back to camp. I have to face it anyway.

_After all I have no expectations riding over my head and no consequences to face._

**_Review if you want me to update please._**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I'm still not Riordan. **

**Ok fine you guy's aren't reviewing I'm gonna make a random stupid story now. Read and review if u like. The whole storyline's changed. Its random.**

Percy's POV

I got off my bed and stared at the clock. 8:15 am. I would sleep more but I wanted to go and find Annabeth. We were sleeping secretly together in my cabin last week, that is until Tyson came. I didn't want him going around telling everyone that Annabeth was sleeping in the Poseidon cabin along with me. Tyson was going back today however. Yippee! That meant Annabeth and I could sleep together again. We hadn't been fooling around too much to be honest. I didn't want a certain centaur getting angry with me. I had enough gods for enemies. But I guess being the hero of Olympus does have its perks. I went outside to find Nico walking towards the dining pavilion.

"How's it going", I asked him.

"Fuck you", he replied.

"Well someone's in a good mood", I said.

"Well not everyone sleeps with a girl at night on the sly", Nico said.

I covered my mouth in shock. "How the heck do you know that, Nico di Angelo!"

He chuckled. "I saw her slip into your cabin one night. Don't worry didn't tell a soul. Your secret's safe with me."

I sighed in relief. "You really have to shock me don't you?"

He smirked. "See ya later."

I went to the pavilion and grabbed some breakfast. Many new campers this time. Many new fine looking girls too. Shit! I didn't think that. These days I rarely thought of other girls. I shouldn't be thinking of them too! Suddenly a guy barged into me.

"Watch where you're going", he said deeply.

"Hey its your fault jackass", I replied snatching his plate away.

He had dark hair and pale, gleaming skin. He was a few centimeters taller than me.

"Fuck you bitch", he said sternly.

"Ahh, get lost bastard", I said and punched him in the gut.

"Percy", a shrill girl's voice came from behind.

I turned to see Annabeth. She looked at the pale dude and her eyes widened. She ran away sobbing.

"What's with her?", said the pale dude. "Your chick's weird man."

"Say that again mofo", I said and rammed my knuckles in his chest. He grabbed my shirt and hoisted me up. He glared at me indignantly. "No one messes with… Luke!" he said and washed off his apparently dyed hair. The whole camp gasped.

"Ghost", yelled Clarisse. "We can't even fight him now."

The Ares cabin started running away. I looked at him shocked. "Fuck you, you dare to come back here and show your face!"

I hit him on the back and pinned him to the ground.

"Percy, stop!", Annabeth yelled. "I'll help you."

"Okay darling", I said and patiently waited for her. She came and hit my back with a club.

"What the fuck, Wise Girl", I said holding my back.

"I love Luke now", she declared. "We're through. Screw you loser. Make out with Rachel now. Oh wait you can't she's the Oracle ha ha!"

Luke grabbed Annabeth and started sucking her face.

"Oh Luke, ravish me please", she said with pleasure.

I got a bit turned on but then I realized I wasn't the one sucking her face. I leapt to my feet and and kicked Luke's ass. "Get off my Annabeth you turd."

"Not until I get to have her all the way", he said in a muffled voice on the ground.

"You didn't just say that you perv", I yelled and kicked his stomach. Annabeth took her club and hit me in the chest. "You suck at making out Jackson", she yelled. But then she stared at me again. "Wait I love you more. Fuck you Luke get another girl."

Annabeth stepped forward and leapt into my arms.

I stared at her confused. "But I thought, wha…but you…ahh who cares as long as we get to make out and do more stuff it doesn't matter."

**Now puhlease review! Next crazy chapter coming soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: If I was Rick I'd obviously get more reviews duhh.**

Percy's POV

I was making out with Thalia at the edge of the forest. It was a nice break after Annabeth's ludicrousness. She took off her shirt and revealed her lacy bra.

"And I thought you were hunter", I said playing with her hair.

"Part time babe", she replied grinning.

Then she kissed me full on the lips. The pulled back and took a deep breath.

"How was that", she asked smugly. "How did it taste."

"Hmm, well it was good a bit like Annabeth", I replied.

"What!" she said incredulously. "Why does everything have to do with Annabeth for you! I bet you can't even name one thing about me that isn't like your dear Annabeth you prick!"

"Your tits are smaller than Annabeth's", I blurted.

She huffed and stormed off. "Wait Thalia", I called after her. "Don't go. Virginity sucks I assure you." But she was already gone.

Ahh, It doesn't matter besides she's right I can only think of Annabeth. I do like her a lot. I know what you're thinking. Then how come you're cheating on the girl you like right? But cut a guy some slack you know, I've only been thinking of Annabeth since I was thirteen. Your head hurts when you think of only one girl for so long. Anyway I've proved that wrong coz I'm going back to her cabin now. Annabeth was apparently waiting for me coz she told all her siblings to fuck off. She saw me coming and ran towards me.

"Seaweed Brain!" she exclaimed hugging me tight. "I love the way you beat up Luke. I also love the way I beat you up with my club. That was real fun." She giggled.

"Don't do that again please", I said rubbing my chest.

"That depends, I'm the hottest babe in the camp", she said proudly.

"No you're not", I pointed out.

"Yes I am or I'm gonna break up with you", she said pouting.

"No, no please you're the best I swear", I lied. Who is she fooling anyway? The girls in the Aphrodite cabin can even seduce a corpse.

"Good boy", she said giving me a smug smile. "You can take my virginity now."

"Really?" I asked getting all excited.

"No, I was just kidding kiddo", she said.

"I'll try harder next time ma'am, I promise", I said imitating a schoolboy.

She giggled. "Oh Percy, you're so funny. Come here you."

She dragged me to her bed and we started making out. I sucked her lips slowly. Then I massaged her lower lip with my upper lip and then… ahh forget it it's too hard to describe but so much fun to do. Try this at home kids! Hee hee. I put my hand under her shirt and rubbed her back while she ran her hands through my hair. All right this is it. She's tempting me, yes I think she's giving me signs, hmm, yep I think she won't be pissed now if I slide my hands up her…

"Surprise!" a group of kids chorused from the doorway. I jumped out of the bed. A group of blonde kids looking identical to my Annabeth stood in the doorway sniggering.

"Hah, we caught you making out", one guy teased.

"Ha, loser I bet you never made out in your life geek!" I told him.

He quieted down and then started sobbing.

"Why can't you go and make out in Percy's cabin since Tyson isn't there like you used to", one of the girls asked Annabeth.

"Wait a minute", I butted in. "How do you know we make out in my cabin?"

"Nico told us", all of them chorused.

I stormed out of the cabin in rage. "Where are you going", Annabeth shouted after me.

"To kill Nico", I yelled back. "Stay on the bed though. I'm still not done with you. I'll continue when I'm back."

"No I'm off to see Luke", she yelled back.

"No!", I yelled frustrated. "Not Luke please. I'll give you the time of your life I promise…" but she already gone.

I sighed in frustration. This is all because of that bastard Nico. I headed off to the Hades' cabin and stormed my fist on the door. A ghost answered it. "What in Hades' fucking name do you want", he yelled. "I'm a light sleeper you son of a bitch."

"Mind your fucking language you fucked up piece of mist", I yelled back at him. "Where the fuck is Nico!"

"Why don't you practice what you preach, you no-brainer no one likes to see a saint comin out of a brothel!"

"Where is Nico, tell me or I'll tear this house down!"

"He's in the forest screwing around with some girl. Humans! I never understand your…"

I slammed the door on his face and went to the forest. "Nico! Where are you, you crazy son of a bitch! I'm gonna stuff your head down your goddam throat, you hear me?"

Yep he was against a tree making out feverishly with…Katie? I didn't care who it was but her making out time was good as done. Nico was apparently ignoring me. I lifted him up and threw him on the floor. Katie shrieked and tried to find her missing bra. I boxed Nico's ears. "I though I told you not to fuck with me!"

"I didn't", Nico protested painfully. "I'm not gay."

"No smart comments", I said and lifted him up again and slammed him against the tree. Blood trickled down his nose.

"That was our make out tree!" Katie shrieked after putting on her bra.

Suddenly Travis entered the scene.

"What is wrong with you Perce?" travis asked shocked. "Why are you beating up poor Nico."

"Your poor Nico was screwing Katie", I told him.

"He what!" spluttered Travis. "Lets kick the son of a gun's ass!"

We kicked Nico's shins and his chest with our feet. Katie sobbed behind.

"Stop Travis I love Nico!" Katie protested.

"What the fuck!" cried Travis. "He was gonna ditch you for some ghost girl."

"True", said Nico weakly. "Ghost tits can be extended or so I heard."

"I still love him", said Katie firmly.

"That's it Katie you're asking for it", Travis yelled. He caught her shirt and slid his hand underneath. In an instant he unclipped her bra and ran off with it. "You're not getting this back bitch!"

"Travis!" she shrieked chasing after him. "You perverted son of a bitch! I'm gonna cream your ass not in that way of course I mean I'm gonna beat you up turd. I'm gonna make sure you get screwed like never before!"

Nico and I looked at each other and then burst out laughing. "I forgive you man", I said wiping my eyes.

"Yeah that's cool Perce", he said grinning. "Come on lets go and make out with Annabeth for a while huh?"

"Excuse me?" I said raising an eyebrow.

"I mean you make out with her and I'll sulk here in the corner", he said.

"Now you're talking", I said.

"But when you're done with her…" he began.

I flipped him off and went away.

**Hee hee. I kinda liked this chapter. Review please.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I'm not Riordan. What? You want proof? Idiot.**

Annabeth's POV

Hi! Its me Annabeth and I'm making out with… wait for it… wait for it…LUKE!

I love the guy. He's been my crush since I was seven. What a guy! He's hot all over and hot even when the seasons change. Hee hee. Didn't get it? Forget it. Percy's so dumb he'll forgive me no matter how many times I cheat. But that's why I love my Seaweed Brain. So clueless and obtuse. So here I am sucking on Luke's collarbone.

"Enough!" he said irately. "Can't you do any other things? Didn't Percy teach you any tricks worthwhile? Oh yeah he's Percy he can't screw with a girl if his pathetic existence depended on it."

I frowned at him. "Hey! Don't say that about Percy! I love him."

"Then why are you making out with me", he asked grinning.

"Uh, because…" I started embarrassed.

"Yes?" he said patiently.

"Well", I blushed. "I haven't seen something yet."

"What?" he asked curiously.

"Well", I said and drew closer. "The thing in your pants."

He sighed. "Come on Annabeth. You have to learn to be more explicit. What the fuck did Percy teach you! Do you know anything!"

I sobbed. I didn't like it when Luke yelled at me. He cradled my head then. "Aw, its okay dear, its not your fault."

"Bah, I wasn't really crying you idiot", I said. "Now tell me, how long?"

Luke thought for a moment. "10 inches."

"Bah, you're lying", I said unimpressed.

"Fine you're right", he sighed. "Couldn't cross 5, I'm such an idiot, after all I did for Kronos I should've at least asked for a raise (get it? Raise. Ha ha)."

"That's all right, I'll manage", I said eyeing his pants.

Just then Percy entered the room.

"Percy!", I shrieked. "Why do you always have to come at the wrong time?"

"Coz you're nice and sexy at the wrong time, Wise Girl", he said with a lustful smile.

He then turned back. "Come on in Nico, let's teach Luke who's boss."

Nico stepped in. His hair was messy and his lips were wet but his nose was bloody. It was as if he was having a make out session while someone was beating him up. Bah, I never thought he was hot anyway.

"No, you can't harm Luke", I said firmly.

Luke smiled triumphantly then turned to Percy. "See? Your chick has fallen for me and there's nothing you can…"

"Wait, let me finish you jerk", I said and smacked Luke on his chest.

I turned to Percy and Nico. "What I was saying was that you can't harm Luke until I get what I want. After I get to have whatever's in his pants you can beat the bowels out of him I don't care. But we have to make this deal first. Consider it as barter."

"No!" cried Luke. "I don't want it to be detached!"

Percy and Nico looked at each other and shrugged. "Okay."

Percy stepped forward and shook hands with me. "You're quite a businesswoman Miss Chase."

"Don't patronize me", I told him. "It won't score any points with me in bed."

His face fell. "Ok… what will score then?"

I wagged a disapproving finger. "Teachers aren't supposed to reveal the answers before the test. That would be cheating."

Nico turned to Percy with a bored expression on his face. "Hey Perce, I'm getting bored are we gonna beat up Luke or should I make out with Annabeth."

That flared my temper. "Let's beat him up Seaweed Brain!"

Percy leapt on top of Nico. "I'll teach to make out with Annabeth you turd."

Together me and Percy knocked the stuffing out of Nico. After he was whimpering on the floor I lifted him up and kissed him on the lips.

Percy blinked several times. "But…but…"

I shrugged. "I wanted to see how it feels."

Nico slumped to the floor and groaned. "At least I died after a kiss from the lady fair. My life is not lost in shambles."

Luke got up and started beating up Percy. Now's my chance. I removed Luke's belt from his pants. "Hey I'm trying to fight over here, stop stripping me", he protested.

Luke socked Percy's ears and muttered, "I'm gonna give Annabeth the time of her fucking life so get out of my way loser."

"Yeah right, yours is only 5 inches!" screamed Percy.

Luke turned red. "How do you know that?"

"Hah! Everyone knows. Hermes told us at your funeral!"

Luke looked flustered. "Why would he reveal my dick size?"

Percy looked triumphant. "Because he wanted to make sure that any girl who had a crush on you wouldn't be too sad that you died! Hahaha!"

Luke looked he was going to cry. "I can't believe this. No!"

"Shut up both of you", I interjected. "Instead of debating over can I just see it once, just once please to confirm its only 5. I mean it could be 5.1 or 5.2 or if you're really hopeless 4.7 but I really should get a look. Its only for statistical purposes nothing else I assure you." I tried to look convincing.

Luke and Percy gave me a look and started laughing. "Haha! Nice one Annabeth. You're just trying to cover up your horniness."

I turned red. "No I'm not!"

Luke and Percy laughed even more. "Hornybeth! Hornybeth", they chanted.

I put my Yankees cap on and took my club and beat the shit out of them.

"No!" said Percy. "Please Annabeth, at least beat me up without being invisible, you're really hot then."

I bashed his face with my club and he fell down unconscious.

"Hornybeth", Luke muttered trying to suppress a smile. He got it on his head too though. I took off my cap and surveyed the unconscious boys before me. Slowly I undid Luke's pants. "4.5! Hermes was being pretty generous!"


End file.
